Left Behind: Pretrib Porno 2025 May 10    patheos.com
I once when going through an "I'll read anything" phase (these phases occur frequently) attempted Left Behind, the 1995 "Novel of the Earth's Last Days" from a decidedly Evangelical Christian point of view. This was a long while ago, but I remember losing interest maybe halfway through. I have only so much belief to suspend, after all.

So obviously I missed the subtext. The porn subtext that is. From Fred Clark at Slacktivist in 2012 we learn that:

Our porn star hero, Rayford Steele, interacts with women just like any porn star does — minus, of course, the sex. It's all about dominance, exploitation, titillation and the stroking of — in this case — egos.

The article expands on this thoroughly, Clark arguing his seemingly-far fetched claim in a manner both compelling and convincing.

Post script: "Pretrib" (since I have never heard this term before and had to look it up) is shorthand lingo for "pre-tribulation rapture" – some esoteric antisemitic Christian nonsense that at least this Christian Research Institute blog decries (weakly) as "simply not great Bible."

Old burial customs determine how couples are positioned 2025 Apr 22    lancasteronline.com
Does it matter in which direction you are buried? I always felt I should be buried face down, with a good view into Hell.

But that's not what this local Lancaster, Pennsylvania (near Mennonite and Amish communities) article is about. Apparently, they say, "Most cemeteries bury husbands on the south side of a burial plot, with their wives on the north." Of course it's never quite that simple:

The other key factor, [Bart Delp of Delp Monument Company] notes, is that headstones can face east or west. The direction they face makes a big difference. ...

But in most cemeteries, headstones face east, which puts husbands to the left of their wives. "To make matters even more confusing," Delp adds, "many cemeteries have stones facing both ways. And then there's Brunnerville United Methodist, which buries the man on the right regardless of which way the stone faces."

But, why? Why on Earth (or Heaven, I guess) does any of this matter?

Delp says he has met many cemetery caretakers who claim couples are buried that way so that at the rapture, when they rise out of the ground, they will be standing as they were when married.

That is, while the husband lies to the left of his wife, their heads are close to the headstones. So they would rise in reverse – the husband to the right side of his wife.

"Take this," Delp says, "for what it's worth."

And what's so Damn important about facing east?

"When the Lord comes the second time," [Sam Stoltzfus] explains, "He'll come from the East." So the dead will rise correctly in greeting.

Map of the Esoteric 2025 Mar 18    youtube.com
Another YouTube, this one to a guy who explains convincingly the flowchart of how Western Esotericism came to be, and how the different movements are related to and have descended from one another. His pronunciation of names is either a touch odd, or my understand of how to pronounce those names is wrong. But that's a minor thing.